rage,angerand very ugly to write about too.  I don’t know if every human being comes equipped with rage?? in my op  we are all so different, in our ingredients and the combinations to our individual recipes for our soup  that make us up,however, i think we all learn the same lessons  in degrees thank the Lord.  or just be thankful!!

when i was little they used to call it the Lansburgh Temper…. those of us, with the same name,dwelling in the same house used to call it… that.  i think i  just thought it was unattached to any of us, but would materialize into a free thinking, free screaming,insulting,name-calling, scarer… Really I can’t recall if we  even had to apologize, much less take any ownership of it.  we never thought it was us – it was our tempers!!! Tantrums really… but unaddressed for sure…

well i learned from experience and taught the same that i learned… therefore, the Lansburgh temper has turned in to another last name due to marriaggy  changing of the name that used to be the norm, , which will go unnamed in deference to my children.

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pretend those were mean,evil feeling, nasty names worn by a terrible feeling energy…monster -like voice .  it likes to get in people’s faces too… with no regard for weight differences.. Like a silly chiuahua provoking a Bouvier. When I am watching my thoughts and not acting them out… I picture the energy of anger like a wave and I watch it growing and growing …waiting for me to surf that baby in!! Ride the anger…  I… OMG! that’s so painful.

i think ideally i SHOULD be bigger than I am… oh/oh ..  from there I can easily start this tape, I am not as good as i should should should be. STFU to the shoulds!

Anyway, this is days later and the anger has dissolved…

I am sitting here,,, thinking… should i post this??  maybe there are other people out there who can relate..