challenges… are when I have to remember and believe..Reminding mySELF

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, Miscellaneous

OinkVEY..getting caught up in the future and the “what if’s” (usually have me helpless and in the future tense, of course). All this is brought on by a lull in my cash flow.. and pow. then wow then I am reduced to worrying…..obviously, I am as worthless as I always suspected I was… you get the flow?
Worrying is not a strategy for serenity..
I call it going from zero to freak with no interim thoughts… it is not FUN. and it usually is catastrophically dramatic…
I have a teacher…  and I need that information, on a daily basis to feed the support system I create..or cannot find when I am mired in  reactive and afraid. I don’t like being reactive and afraid… it is never fun, and it needs no nurturing..
I start thinking about others and how WRONG they are.. I bet we all know the dialogue… looking outward – blaming comes into the picture for me..ICK.
Turn on the Wisdom, Cuber, use the words that support and encourage…
Magic is available!!!

Knowing something is great…. Implementing that knowing something is essential to the life I seek… I DO NOT WANT TO SUFFER ANYMORE…because of some made up scenarios or a stubbed toe ( so to speak)…However it takes great attention to stop this crap in its infancy so it does not carry me away into the future tense and the land of “not really happening dude”. it is just created in your mind – as is everything..This is where the WORK comes in…

My work is going to the sources.. to the ones that live in the present tense.. It is the JOY of being alive.. what a difference.. Thank GOD and I mean it..and if you have not experienced GOD thank Mindfulness and the ability to take the reins of an out of control, shittyish thought and saying NO baby NOT NOW!



2 thoughts on “challenges… are when I have to remember and believe..Reminding mySELF

  1. Hey, Ellen,
    I know that snarky, zero to catastrophe reaction well. It sucks, and prevents us from feeling the co tenement and love that is right there with us, if only we would turn inward and feel it, huh? The addiction to that negative rush of emotion is strong.
    I like your blog!
    Leigh Ellis


    1. hi leigh

      I really appreciate your interest…i think we must be doing something right!!i call it an operating system and a bad habit… personally, i have done so much better now that i realize I am more than a human!!it still feels so shitty- and i think even shittier since we know it is coming from our thoughts! right?


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