love and loving

LONELY??? get WAZE !!!!..a GPS to adore

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

I drive Uber… which means I think of myself as Cuber,, and I use WAZE!!!! If you are familiar then you know already… if you don’t YOU ARE WELCOME!

I have grown to love waze and of course, as love goes ,  it wasn’t easy… i went through a process of trust,,, just as if it was a person… of course, with a person, or another human, there are so many expectations and  questionables.. waze is an APP and not a human… however… i just could not bring to trust it… which really reflected  my own  issue-  actually it was about 3 weeks before I made the conscious decision that i had this app to give me help and i would use it… no matter what… even if i thought it was Wrong – Waze has more NINFO than i can get on my own…. FYI you get rerouted according to traffic flow and that includes accidents and even police reports- red light cameras etc…  we Humans can’t know these things… one has to be an APP-and connected to whatever!! ( wherever it is) what an amazing thing the internet is! where is it?

on the other hand – there are a couple of things that WAZE  does that “annoy”me….makes a left turn without a light…. and Miami- for one has outgrown that with their traffic patterns, small streets and expanded population.  in my experience… i experience true anxiety crossing North Miami Ave , or any boulevard or avenue and waiting till it becomes opportune. with my head going right and left —-  and Waze likes the back roads… sometimes … i say “WTF”  but all in all I am in Love and I can depend and trust FullSizeRender copy  this WAZE – in the way I wanted to believe in other humans and the relationships we had… Holding them hostage by my desires and judgements… yuk/// i just didn’t know better…. and that is another thought altogether……

 

 

wowch!!!! mad is easier than sad!! for this human…

being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

HALLEJUAH LANSBURGH my 6 yr old female cat , a solid member in my catamily started getting ill last week– there were changes in her behavior- like she missed a meal and started hanging out alone somewhere, that I never discovered. (while she was chilling there).. cats are like that…not like dogs…. not like humans or fish… they act like cats… and cats are very very gool!- of course, GOOL is a blend of good and cool…she was losing her vibrancy…. little by little… I gave her medicine, crossed my fingers and prayed… putting off going to the veterinarian, mainly because of the expense. There is a thought I have of shame for not being able to have that flexibility- but i do not.

To get to the point of what I am trying to communicate- Hallie’s systems were on failure- she had been on phenobarb since a kitty because of seizures- perhaps they contributed to the failure of her liver or kidney… that is what they do if they do. sometimes they don’t i guess. sort of like watching television and seeing the ohoh factor of what modern medicine does on the other side… not the benefits..

ANYWAY.. the veterinarian said this cat looks horrible,,, so . euthanasia…holding her as she passed… transcended to another realm ( i believe that)- but my human ness- loves her… is attached and saddens.. a very HUMAN, in this body feeling… ( not evolved enough- i guess) at my best I feel that I am energy living in this body…. but when attachment comes up… wowch!

Again the point! I am not comfortable with sadness. I actively convert it to anger and yesterday i wanted very much to let go of the energy of sad and convert to MAD! Pity the people in the way… I see that it is my normal… to not want to feel any sadness- or that ilk. I can retrace the genesis of the behavior… I can go waaaayyyy back in time – humans were always human and as a little girl i guess i thought that if you are loved… you would be treated that way… or lovingly..humans have their own issues..and if they are reacting to them love’s light dims… truly – it is not the word it is the verb.

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED!! BE HERE NOW…. My teacher in Siddha Yoga-EST- The Power of Now– Ram Butler . The Secret… let me not forget Dianne and Alan Collins.  and on and on, equals my window into serenity… my introduction that life was/is different then the way i was living it… and i felt misplaced…. never into Happily ever after….

ANYWAAAY– I watched and allowed the sad– by just holding it and honoring it…. it doesn’t last forever- I was bingeing on House of Cards to help… it helped … by me not going into mad..and doing some random attack on some poor human who happened to be in my vicinity… I am impressed with how I created the moment and did not let IT create me. KUDOS to the Cube! I learned I hope and think at least for the moment, which is really all we have.

Sad is a feeling I have to explore…. I am not familiar with it… I didn’t allow it.. unknowingly I was on rote behavior… mad creates the crust ( i think) the Fuck you! the Who cares?

its cool ... to be kind

its cool … to be kind

Sad… does not leave dead bodies in its wake.. as mad can..

I feel ok- the sad has dissolved back into the energy and is not lingering… at 70 years old I am learning how to create happily!! and that is happy!

 

 

Ego driven just like us… so we seem to think he is GOOL- ( i am not in that group)

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

DONALD TRUMP isn’t gool!! Just try saying some of the things that he says… watch the affect on your state of being,,, Oh my gosh,,, negative words and negative thoughts produce a very unhappy feeling … that feeling just follows the thought… mindlessly actually.  it is just the actual path of that energy, And then who actually lives it??? WE/ I  , whoever is the sayer and the thinker do/does. It is no joke – it is setting yourself up for some shitty moments…which happen immediately -and this is  good news , only if you like to spend your days in conflict and judgement.

I want to insert here– that I think most of us genuinely want to be loving- want to be open- wish to be light- hearted… I know that i was so surprised to find life wasn’t like that… for me it was a very very gigantic disappointment- when I finally realized that my story didn’t read like a romantic comedy – practically ever- except perhaps for the 4 months I was out of mind  thinking I was shot by cupid totally out of my mind and in love!! that should be an APP!!.

Because I think it is  sane and sensible- to want to be satisfied and wish others the same good fortune that we  wish for ourselves. AND I THINK THAT NEGATIVE INTENTIONS TOWARD Others  IS A MARK OF INSANITY..and we would all be better to agree here- and aspire to have lives to enjoy and be grateful for.  The main reason I use the word  insane is – BAD THOUGHTS- PRODUCE BAD FEELINGS! and the feelings are what makes up the fabric of our days and then become our life. . the way we spend the minuscule amount of time we have- Valuing our time and ENJOYING our lives is the purpose..and it is not in our best interest to ruin it with negativity.- Because- we are the losers! First and foremost we are not on the right team – our own team…

I think that being Humans with no knowledge of what we are capable of- and just thinking that we are our minds… wearing a body. I think that makes people unconscious first and of course  insane too- and I know I am using the I word easily–The spectrum of mental ILLNESS is large- and every melt down – every moment that we are just reacting, not choosing the  easier way, the more loving way, the more generous and open way we are wasting the moments we are given on this planet- as this being., or this energy!

Creative (living)  thinking requires our full attention– it is like choosing from a menu… “who do I want to be?? How do I want to act? How do I want to love?

 

really very very GOOL ! good and cool  which is the ultimate way to go thru the moments!IMG_2757

BTW I don’t think DT is the only one acting insanely!! we are off the charts as a country… draft Bloomberg!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mean… and tough …..are two different animals right?

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

I am listening to the hilarious back and forths that are going non -stop on the news… Donald is orange… marco is little… small hands on the trump man… and we certainly know what that means!! Marco says pow… donald says pow… pow!!  actually, on Cnn right now Chris Cuomo is showing Marco talking about the sweat!!  and clogged pores for poor donald. Jimmy Fallon is energized , comedy writers are inspired!

HOWEVER,  mean is petty.. and not strong…Mean is awful and something not to be energized…. we all have enough of our own meanness  to deal with ( that is my personal opine, after living this long)..without being attracted to the negativity loving energy of others. Unfortunately, negative energy has its own appeal… sometimes it is the only way, it seems that we  can feel free to express ourselves,,,,, once again it is CERTAINLY and guaranteed  a  . no fun way to spend the moment , much less the day or longer… god forbid!! lol… truly how long do you give your negative thoughts room to survive??? answer quietly … no judging here.

So what is a STRONG human like????  I don’t think he is mean…. It certainly is Cool to be kind.FullSizeRender copy right???

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO DYING in the streets!! couldn’t it have been said with more kindness? empathy? awareness?

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

FullSizeRender copyDT won’t let us die in the streets! wow – what about living well??
I believe it is time that we convene about this life,  on this planet! We are the only species that actually ignores one another upon a meeting… and we think we are gooL? (good and cool) – of course..

I believe we shape our lives in the moment… and we shape it by the words we choose – they have an instant affect/effect ? on both our psyche and the psyches of all others in listening distance– The energy of the words we choose is most important… they are communication right? pick and choose.. actually we get to create ourselves by our communication… and it is called creative living.. By doing this we eliminate Reaction … and evolve..hopefully- not defined by our yesterdays… able to rethink and be who we admire… admiring ourselves! that is gool!

DYINg in the street just doesn’t make it – there is a lack of compassion that is vast here…it shows in the Donalds choice of words… his ideas are good but the energy he puts into his ideas leave me cold and frightened.. frightened by the humans that are attracted to him and his lack of presence for others..we  have so much opportunity! Opportunity to enjoy our lives … not fight.. not race for the grail…

There is so much talk of living in the Present- however it doesn’t come easily or even naturally in this society–The present is the only time there actually is.. we get to be who we are and who we want to be!!!

If we don’t use mindfulness- then our minds are using us!! scary — just think if our feet wanted to shake and move at their own will… lol

USE your mind.. it is just a mind

 

 

NEW means New not old and not known really…

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

REALLY  so exciting…

Lets take this seriously here…I will speak only for my self and you are welcome to agree, adopt, disagree or  roll your eyes, hmph and walk out of the room!

what could be a better setting to be who we really want to be… Creative living is when you make it up as you go along… how fun is this??Never before have we lived in this body at this time with these circumstances… so it is really BRAND NEW.

Instead of coming to the moment with all our OLDER – which really means, our already feelings or experiences and impressions that we have claimed to be our own and actually cause or influence our reaction… if we are humans that are REACTERS – which apparently is not a word but a definite condition. (and not creative living – make us up as we live along, types of humans.)

For instance, the other day i walked into a neighbors home… her 7 yr old girl was caressing and relating to a snake.. I found myself recoiling and hmphing and rolling my eyes and retreating…. WHY? I really never have had a snake to get to know.. and yet here I was judging this adorable serpent as if I had a large wealth of experiences and a bite or 2 in my past… not true.. my experiences are sightings… and sightings,, none of which have been perilous in any way. SOOOOO. I gave this darling little, beautiful, sweet bangle-bracelet like little snake a chance… he was soft.. he responded, he is also a creature who was not ready to fight to the death.. we got along..i became someone NOT afraid of snakes… she was gool and had a better time for sure. and isn’t the quality of our time on this planet – the success we seek??? Shouldn’t that be the measure of our existence??? not the length, or the achievements that are marked in money or awards?

New not old… is amazing.. and interesting …and vital like we can be in these bodies-

This subject goes on and on and there are many ways to say it.. 10644936_558249310998269_4362323804923843597_n

 

CRAZY THINKING??? REASONABLE? how did this happen? more about the donald..

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

WTF??? my gosh.. I just heard some newscasters say that the polls show more and more people think Donald is the man to HANDLE the problems. The paradigm that the world is experiencing now is moving faster and fiercer , at least, it seems. mounting up and up for this country, even more the problems  are presenting themselves to the whole planet… it is not a negotiation it is conciliation here that we need…
I could not have really heard that!!! That would be crazy…it would be totally insane to be attracted to a volatile,reactive,negative energy, right? One that is going to BOMB THE HELL OUT OF ISIS!! Yea dude… just going in there and Pow drop some explosives and we will teach them who to mess with DUDE. We will destroy the Earth, but hey we are born to win not lose… and we will go out winning…. BIG TIME.

NOOOOOOO

What does this say about our country? We are attracted to a tough talking, ranting and threatening, hyperbole spewing, REACTIVE kind of guy? for the President of the United States of America? What happened here?

What are we not smoking here??? Light up and let your mind expand PLEASE! Don’t stay in some reactionary and frightened position where we hope that the loudest, showiest, big mouth can intimidate reason and strength by saying excuse me and bullying the conversation just by talking faster and louder than the other guy.

 

Attraction to WISDOM, GRACE UNDER PRESSURE, and a lot less ego please..Please pass me that menu and lets see which candidate uses this recipe….This is still attractive, right?  Maybe someone who has been wrong once or twice in their life– so they know that it is possible to rethink and remain strong/

If the Universe is reflection ourselves back to us … Interesting … I feel that we emphasized wrong values, got away from authenticity and started to worship stuff instead of the stuffing we are made of. It is the stuffing that provides the great moments in life. The stuffing lives in the privacy of our minds… words like supportive, flexible, kind… etc etc. when we wish others well… when we want families to experience valuable lives on earth… not TAKE OUT THEIR FAMILIES!

OMG  I AM SPEECHLESSFullSizeRender copy

taking offense is ridiculous! .. it is my own time I would be ruining…

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

“no… Mom… don’t stop by!”.

Ok… wtf??

scrambling thru my choices on how to be… that is what MINDFUL is ..I do not have to react.. i can choose how I want to act. How I want to handle my self and my relationships.. Creation of the person I am ..you and me and all of us,  we are pioneering ourselves… we have never been HERE before. That is a fact we wouldn’t have a debate about … right?

So.. who is it that attracts me? I make her up!! and I am crazy about her… her is me!!! For the first time that I can remember, in a very very long time… she is fun to be with.. she likes to laugh, even more than anything… more than shopping, or eating, or blahhhh. Laughing is the barometer for me… a good day is a day I enjoyed…

I nominate : TAKING OFFENSE at someone, anyones, opinion, insult, diatribe… a Capitol offense,,, and not allowed in any ELDSTERs mind.. from now on.. let’s just let everything just go over our head and out the window.

“HMPH”” ok i won’t stop by” I don’t care about seeing my fabulous grandchildren… anyway! ie: this is a pattern of thinking , for instance that gets in the way of ENJOYING every minute.

so many choices in there.. and I am getting – that the best action is one that works for everyone.. not that hard… and very OPENHEARTED! FullSizeRender copy

RIP… my dear kitten, Kiddo…or its Dawg…

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

I am really not sure who is the surviving twin… because I had to see them together, in order to tell them apart…but I know one was a runt and he hid the day I had my friend round up the kittens and take them to get adopted… and that is why he was here and his name was DAWG….

His twin brother is Kiddo… he had made the cut because of his personality…very adorable and playful. and then there were 2 more… in this Catamily we became 1 human creature and 6 feline creatures…(I am the human).

This morning around 4 am after a quick bite everyone ( mom,kiddo, dawg, and Loonie) went out to play. Helen is the mom, btw, not me… I went back to bed. I go back to sleep as it is our custom and that is just the way it is…in our house.

Everyone was home except for one… I just assumed it was Kiddo that stayed out cuz he is so boyish, fun and energetic… but at a certain hour it was uncomfortably strangish feeling  and me and Helen went out to see where he was…we walked and we both lolled around different places we thought he might be… he was not…

I asked a man on the grounds if he had seen a golden cat…. he had… it had been playing and laughing in the street- and had gotten in the way of a car…

We are sad… And we, me and my catamily  feel incredibly fortunate to have loved that katten, he was only 2 1/2 months or so old…and there will be a space of emptiness for bit…and life will fill it…

My granddaughter can tell the cats apart.. or Kathy can,  so I will find out who it is…by name anyway… This is a photo of the guy on the chair…IMG_2378

My stomach hurts a bit… these were the feelings I always thought I wasn’t strong enough to bear… I am.

 

Black Lives matter … doesn’t say anyone else’s doesn’t….Stoopid….

Being aware ... being awake, chaos, love and loving

when i hear BLM  — i don’t feel personally threatened.. like mine,  (my life) doesn’t.. or that there is an either/or connected to it. It says BLACK LIVES MATTER.. period.  So…why do.. many people feel  that it affects their life… if they are not blackish. Watching the news can be a jaw dropping ,incredulous sounding experience ( i watch CNN). Some of the opinions about what people think… like.. and who is wrong? who is right? and like the quote says… so who is left?

Sooooooo. What the fuckity to do??

I have watched 12 YEARS A SLAVE  —-at least 6 times… the first time in the theatre perhaps doesn’t register as i was horrified and peeking out thru my fingers at best…really  I didn’t comprehend  what kind of a movie it was( good or bad)  but i knew it sickened me that human to human could be like that. 2 hours plus of that kind of hatred,negativity pouring  out through the screen ,and then   being able to see the visuals- each and every frame filled with unspeakable cruelty juxtapositioned with such indescribable beauty!! ( actually i am so fortunate it to have watched it so many times)-  I mean it is still a movie!

THE POINT …  in my opine …Personally, for me to see the history of slavery so graphically, impacted me to realize… ANGRY.. my gosh yes… !   many people had ancestors existing in that paradigm.  Bet there is a lot of anger in that DNA. I know about the DNA that I myself carry… and have to rethink. (more later-)

We talk about mental problems? what is a mental problem? Mental Problems come from a diseased  mind , perhaps one that is taught to believe it is inferior ( like all of us truly) it gets in the  DNA ..man… and deservedly so ,For Gods Sake!! Perhaps everyone could  just UNDERSTAND … what do u think you get from a person who feels mistreated???  _________? u can fill in your reaction!

 

Let’s cut each other some slack right away… fuck the process .. or this whole thing is exploding!!!