Mindfulness- catching balance HERE

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, Miscellaneous

whew this HUMAN – REALITY -stuff – feels very complicated at the moment.
My mind is racing into the future– dragging me down through a morass of fear- blocking the ease of breath – (seems I always lived holding my breath for years and years- sounds familiar?) and I am amazed that I can share it… I so prefer writing from strength..
Called a couple of other humans, but they couldn’t give me what I needed… I need to be reminded by another- another who also wants to speak in the present… I find everyday human conversation pretty confusing….
I have a TEACHER…
getting high with gurumayi – i drive around- listening to her wisdom, feeling her empathy for me and take in her wisdom – as she presents the many ways – I (WE) let go of the “reins” on my mind… and let it take me to the real Shittsville- ( heard that is a good tv program)- maybe I will binge it as I just checked my biorhythm chart…
Biorhythms are energy- I am energy-
letting this energy go into a pool -a swimming pool- I am not suffering anywhere- just in the mind.. if i go there….
Trying to stay HERE!

NO DYING in the streets!! couldn’t it have been said with more kindness? empathy? awareness?

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

FullSizeRender copyDT won’t let us die in the streets! wow – what about living well??
I believe it is time that we convene about this life,  on this planet! We are the only species that actually ignores one another upon a meeting… and we think we are gooL? (good and cool) – of course..

I believe we shape our lives in the moment… and we shape it by the words we choose – they have an instant affect/effect ? on both our psyche and the psyches of all others in listening distance– The energy of the words we choose is most important… they are communication right? pick and choose.. actually we get to create ourselves by our communication… and it is called creative living.. By doing this we eliminate Reaction … and evolve..hopefully- not defined by our yesterdays… able to rethink and be who we admire… admiring ourselves! that is gool!

DYINg in the street just doesn’t make it – there is a lack of compassion that is vast here…it shows in the Donalds choice of words… his ideas are good but the energy he puts into his ideas leave me cold and frightened.. frightened by the humans that are attracted to him and his lack of presence for others..we  have so much opportunity! Opportunity to enjoy our lives … not fight.. not race for the grail…

There is so much talk of living in the Present- however it doesn’t come easily or even naturally in this society–The present is the only time there actually is.. we get to be who we are and who we want to be!!!

If we don’t use mindfulness- then our minds are using us!! scary — just think if our feet wanted to shake and move at their own will… lol

USE your mind.. it is just a mind



WOWCH!!! scary scary stuff…so enjoy and be the great spirit you are..

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, chaos, Miscellaneous

while we are in our bodies take advantage of the beauty that is all around…. don’t wait to enjoy every breath that you take…cause as I watch the news… the world is turning into a video game or movie where the Baddies of the world are gaining power  by changing all the rules of civility and holding everyone hostage to their own worst nightmares…

As individuals, what can we do?

I refuse to walk around being afraid of every face that i see..suspecting the worst.. of other humans… it is a paradigm of great offense… however… as an individual I have only my own thoughts to keep me free from the terror on the tv and in the streets of Paris… It is horrifying! there is not another way to think about the crimes of ideology and the rights of some to assault the world as we know it and make life so fragile and terrifying..for most of us out here.

It isn’t right! that is right! It isn’t fair! But it IS, nevertheless, happening… how we respond in our minds will really be the way we live… Lemonade recipe- rethink and examine our personal priorities – what would be important in an existence that has suddenly become so fragile and sensitive to the beliefs and will of many others who have no common language to speak with each other… Live and let live.. is threatened on every level.

The Present time is what we really have to deal with,,, our methods of living have been so future oriented.. “what do u want to be when you grow up?”- “one day… I will…. “someday I want to.. etc. Just one person who is motivated by ideas I can’t ingest or digest can blow up every dream and fantasy while they pull a cord or push a button or unload some assault rifle into a crowd of humans they want to annihilate.

The Present can still offer us laughter and satisfaction – good meals, great music, good company having meaningful  moments , however, perhaps we will revalue  and reevaluate our time here on this planet… not take tomorrow for granted, guard ourselves against reaction and take the reins of our minds…make sure we don’t waste this existence driving ourselves crazy with worry about days that may never manifest.

Shit like this – I don’t pretend to comprehend… but i will let it be the impetus for Mindfulness. where I can Enjoy  and not be reduced to living in fear and suspicion and or revenge.

The sun came up this morning… and I will Uber…and be grateful to see the beauty of nature on this planetFullSizeRender copy

snarky? or afraid?? afraid and snarky!!! yuk

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, Miscellaneous


I must have gone to sleepy with some fear on my mind… like not being able to pay my bills or something to that effect. Upon awakening I was quite uncomfy with myself… and  Usually, I am a very happy morning girl.. not today..
Wowch.. being snarky and abrupt and defensive… great way to be -NOT..and all those feelings just wafting thru my being, looking for a poor defenseless spot to unload.( when people share an abode- look out )

I have pledged not to live this way anymore.. it is painful to live this way even  it is for moments..what is the point of being on earth if one cannot  enjoy their lives. Negativity sucks the joy right out of life…it happens when  I don’t like ME. and…  When I am not friending myself…  then I am a sorry mess of a human..one that I don’t want to be around.  However… I am stuck in this Ellen Lansburgh body of mine…I have lived her life and reacted to her mind…almost  trapped in her will and fortune, never understanding that her mind (our mind) was one we could instruct to work for us, like we do with  our hand or our foot… BUT… no … we let the mind call the shots!  And we ruined some great moments and sweet opportunities… her and me… by reacting to what someone else said or did… and by not being present in our thoughts.


I am the Cubercle!! lol. and this new  personna has been great fun for me… and since I have created her… I have created a much sweeter life also. I am into CREATING my life and that takes watching my thoughts and not reacting…. sort of picking the way I want to be. I want to be COOL… and I want to see the funny – I love the funny , even if I go into dark humor. I love to laugh and I see that there is humor in most everything ..

I also have been studying this subject (without success for a long time- because it takes some changing ) but now I am getting proficient… I do not want to waste my time feeling 1. sorry for myself  2. talking about “what is wrong” 3. wasting the precious moments I have– 4. staying in negative attitude towards my being and ruining my moments.

Actually today is the tomorrow of yesterday– do u get that?

and I am gool.. good is good and cool!03dcc11df1844373b2b5992218ad5abb





taking offense is ridiculous! .. it is my own time I would be ruining…

Being aware ... being awake, being mindful, love and loving, Miscellaneous

“no… Mom… don’t stop by!”.

Ok… wtf??

scrambling thru my choices on how to be… that is what MINDFUL is ..I do not have to react.. i can choose how I want to act. How I want to handle my self and my relationships.. Creation of the person I am ..you and me and all of us,  we are pioneering ourselves… we have never been HERE before. That is a fact we wouldn’t have a debate about … right?

So.. who is it that attracts me? I make her up!! and I am crazy about her… her is me!!! For the first time that I can remember, in a very very long time… she is fun to be with.. she likes to laugh, even more than anything… more than shopping, or eating, or blahhhh. Laughing is the barometer for me… a good day is a day I enjoyed…

I nominate : TAKING OFFENSE at someone, anyones, opinion, insult, diatribe… a Capitol offense,,, and not allowed in any ELDSTERs mind.. from now on.. let’s just let everything just go over our head and out the window.

“HMPH”” ok i won’t stop by” I don’t care about seeing my fabulous grandchildren… anyway! ie: this is a pattern of thinking , for instance that gets in the way of ENJOYING every minute.

so many choices in there.. and I am getting – that the best action is one that works for everyone.. not that hard… and very OPENHEARTED! FullSizeRender copy

Elders … there is old and there is obsolete..u must get old..

being mindful, Miscellaneous
its cool to be kind

its cool to be kind

We all grow til we go.… so some of us are going to get OLD… I know most people react to that word… worse than any 4 letter word i know…” I am the same as I was” BS… that is not the point to be the same…!. it is to change and relish the change…

Obsolete is another story, however.. and that is by choice, not destiny. I listen to popular music.. and I get to  share it with my grandchildren, who are being taught and guided by their generation, not mine. I happen to admire the voices (opinions) of the musicians , some of the songs are such valuable teaching lessons – that Colbie… ( TRY) supports …emotional health and communication with oneself… this generation will be saved by this wisdom ( i think) , of course they will need all the early wisdom they can absorb, it seems, to deal with the threats thriving on this planet.

I have never felt better about myself in my whole life… and none of that is coming from outside influences…no money, no job, no vacations etc…. no distractions, actually has made it easier for me.. i think.. I no longer have a list of things that I want.. ( so nice) I have changed the way i conduct my own conversations… i don’t play what if or what i would do if … I find that incredibly boring rhetoric, and I no longer want to listen to other peoples what ifs either.. Not allowed if I want to be here now.. thank you Ram Dass.

Mindfulness is presence.. and that never ages… never is it  irrelevant.. In fact, wisdom is a most attractive quality.. Many cultures knew that and celebrate their elders.. and yet it is not available if you don’t seek it… and honor it…still talking about wisdom here.

Collaborative energy is such a turn on… talent supporting and playing with other talents produces a whole new body of better, merged ideas.. a cacophony of great ideas .. i love it.. it supports, it doesn’t compete with, or detract from… it just grows  ..

CELLphone living ….and panicking elders who are present… or will be presentlyish..


Oh my gosh …. i was in the aldila shop and i couldn’t find my phone…… i mean like i could not find it! I was whipping thru my trusted friend and hand-bag, that is one and the same… i never thought of naming it but now i feel like i was amiss. I have been carrying her for 19 years now,she goeth where i goeth. reliably during the day . I am definitely change the bag at night kind of person. BTW… however nights have been come pretty rarish..as i raise before the dawn a few times and for real in the 5 clocks.

And nowish out of the blue , inevitably someone notices her (my bag) for one reason or another…. impressed with her age i think.comments on the age of my bag.,, many people are starting to ask “how old is your bag”???? that makes me laugh at loud just thinking about it ….. I am not the “type” of person who changes their handbag… whatever type that is… of course, However… I could change that if I want to… and that is so thrilling.
The thrilling part is that I can create this here Elder (me) to be exactly what i want from scratch…. It is remarkable to me….I feel like all of us on this planet are pioneering age in a new way…. Of course, one aspect of age is from quantity of years alone like our expected life-spans have increased  … then there is the physical evolution that is always going on  ( and you are what you are here) and here we are addressing the body and it’s own life span, … and the other aspect, which i find much more intriguing is the awareness factor that so many humans are embodying for themselves… seems they are being born with the advantage of many voices and informations validating their feelings… and that changes the way we appreciate time… right?? Because… we can choose to be HERE NOW …Personally that was not my experience as was growing… because juxtaposed against authority i felt out of line, and then thought i had no idea and i was dead WRONG…and looked to others to tell me what i thought, who i liked, what i desired … phew

Depending on what tense you are thinking in… really defines whether you are present or not… so, that is a rule…. if that is a rule and you are good at games, what a great tool.. TENSING is . Cause, to be present… one is not really allowed to be in their plans… up the road… or Fear of the Future…. ahhhh my stomach hurts when i just write about it.Not allowed to worry… worry is not in the now. EVER.. we may be fearful in the present… but wasting our precious time worrying about the unknown is mentally ill. I think if one does it a lot of this all of the  time and doesn’t want to change that….. that person needs . some  guidance and straightening out too. . lol AMERICAN mental illness..

You might have to discover an agenda before you can drop it…. I like to refer to them as operating systems VERY IMPORTANT here… and if your thoughts are not  fresh in the moment … perhaps one likes to rehash a conversation… or go over  silly energetic lila that seems to happen in human to human relationship.- a lila is a TO_DO of sorts…. maybe what you have figured out…. about yourself..mulling, mulling, mulling,. one usually goes soaring  into the next level when there are more and more lila lessons…. live and learn.. that goes back a long way..

So I acted cool for me- on the outside…. but  inside went from zero to panic…. “I LOST MY PHONE” ! .. iI will put this panic operating system at the top of the list so i can be more appropriate… like it is not a wild fire… or saracen attack ,but  it is a new – fangled, high tech life out here…. wow…and it is providing the connection we seem to crave and need…

that is all i have here…

anyway it is a great phone because it was where i left it.