I must have gone to sleepy with some fear on my mind… like not being able to pay my bills or something to that effect. Upon awakening I was quite uncomfy with myself… and Usually, I am a very happy morning girl.. not today..
Wowch.. being snarky and abrupt and defensive… great way to be -NOT..and all those feelings just wafting thru my being, looking for a poor defenseless spot to unload.( when people share an abode- look out )
I have pledged not to live this way anymore.. it is painful to live this way even it is for moments..what is the point of being on earth if one cannot enjoy their lives. Negativity sucks the joy right out of life…it happens when I don’t like ME. and… When I am not friending myself… then I am a sorry mess of a human..one that I don’t want to be around. However… I am stuck in this Ellen Lansburgh body of mine…I have lived her life and reacted to her mind…almost trapped in her will and fortune, never understanding that her mind (our mind) was one we could instruct to work for us, like we do with our hand or our foot… BUT… no … we let the mind call the shots! And we ruined some great moments and sweet opportunities… her and me… by reacting to what someone else said or did… and by not being present in our thoughts.
I am the Cubercle!! lol. and this new personna has been great fun for me… and since I have created her… I have created a much sweeter life also. I am into CREATING my life and that takes watching my thoughts and not reacting…. sort of picking the way I want to be. I want to be COOL… and I want to see the funny – I love the funny , even if I go into dark humor. I love to laugh and I see that there is humor in most everything ..
I also have been studying this subject (without success for a long time- because it takes some changing ) but now I am getting proficient… I do not want to waste my time feeling 1. sorry for myself 2. talking about “what is wrong” 3. wasting the precious moments I have– 4. staying in negative attitude towards my being and ruining my moments.
Actually today is the tomorrow of yesterday– do u get that?